Monday, November 26, 2007

Cover your eyes!

Not because something you're about to see is inappropriate, but because it is, uh, well, unattractive. Now, I am purposely putting the picture far enough down this post that you won't see it until you are done reading about it. Yes, a little shock value is intended.

According to a story on, government officials stopped a wedding convoy because the group looked "suspicious". Then they detained a few in the party. I'm putting the word "suspicious" in quotes because I'm not sure it is the correct word to use. But, I digress...

So they pull over the cars. Upon further inspection they discover that the groom and bride are both terrorist suspects. So they detained them. Probably a typical day in Baghdad, from what I read. It ended up being two men, not a bride and groom. They were "in disguise". Again, I'm sure this happens weekly in the Middle East.

One reason they were pulled over is because one car in the convoy wouldn't heed an official's warning to stop. Also, there were all men and just one woman (the bride) in the group and I guess that would seem suspicious. The other reason is because the groom wouldn't lift the veil of his wife-to-be. Let's take a second and explore that...

Hmm. Why wouldn't a groom want to lift the veil of his wife-to-be and show her off to other people? Is it a cultural thing? That is the question. Here is the answer:

Scroll down a bit.

I (sarcastically) wonder why the groom wouldn't lift the veil. The government officials suspected there was a problem? Wow. This disguise hurts to look at. In fact, this is, by far, the worst disguise I have ever seen anyone, anywhere, try to use to get past a Middle-eastern checkpoint. Or any check point for that matter. On any planet where life could be supported by an atmosphere. This person should not only be detained, but forced to stare at a mirror until he breaks down and vomits up Taliban secrets. I'm not supportive of physical punishment in most cases, but this "groom" should be caned for allowing his little cronies to trick him into being the "groom" to such an unattractive bride. Maybe that is a practical joke in the Middle East. Like the other guys were in the other cars behind the bride and groom and they were snickering and pointing at the sucker sitting next to the bride. Boy, that backfired.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I've Been Published!

Well, not really. But I did write my first "letter to the editor". Boy, I tell ya what, the thrill of flexing of my freedom of speech muscles was exhilarating. This is what America is all about. I feel like a cowboy of old, riding into a city and "correcting" the local, corrupt sheriff and then riding off into the sunset, guns smoldering, hat tipped down and to the side, spurs quietly jingling as they bouncing against my horse's flanks to the rhythm of his sure, steady and slow trot.

I just hope I spelled everything correctly. Eye wud knot whant 2 bee imbearest bye sum dum "spelling mistakes".

The original article about Gov. Romney suggesting that if he is elected he will hire a management consulting team to help restructure the government can be found here.

Here is my letter, just in case it does get published. Then we'll have proof that I was "Brian, UT":

Kinsley's "Bring in the Consultants!" fails on at least two points. After complaining that a management consulting team would not be a good idea to restructure our current government, Kinsley gives no, absolutely no, examples of where a management consulting firm has failed to restructure a "client" successfully. Secondly, Gov. Romney didn't say he was going to hire a consulting team to run the government. He was going to look at restructuring the government organization. We have ample examples, from this very magazine, of the need to have a government that is restructured, slimmed-down, simplified, and reorganized. No one, Gov. Romney included, is suggesting that the "cacophony of politics" is going to be replaced with a management consulting team. But, the dissonance we are all seeing in the current government organization is neither efficient or effective. It sounds like Kinsley's article could have used a proofreading and reorganizing by a McKinsey, Bain, Boston, or at least Jack Welch.

I don't think I really feel that strongly about the article. But I liked writing my letter. So, I'm going to do it more. Local newspaper, Time Inc., the NY Times, the Dictionary. Anything I don't totally agree with is going to hear from me. Now everyone will feel the wrath of my pen.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Senior Session...

To see Lisa's senior pictures sneak peek, go to the photography website...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

100th Post!

That came fast.

Since I hadn't really thought much about the fact that our 100th post was coming up, I'm not really sure what to do.

I could list 100 things about us that people might not know (boring)

I could list 100 songs from the 80's that I hate (too easy)

I could list 100 things I love about Janese (too romantic)

I could list 100 things I want to do before I die (I can only think of 4)

I could list my 100 favorite birds (too exciting)

Hmm. Nothing is coming. I can't even make up a list of 6 things that have to do with anything. I keep seeing these "I've Been Tagged!!!" lists and I'm not very interested in writing about all of that stuff.

Let's just go with this. It isn't that great. I wouldn't even really want to read it if I wasn't me. I may not even read it even though I am me...

Here are just 10 things...

1. I have consumed at least one plate of nachos almost every week since about 6th grade. That all started at Jeff Boele's house and will end in an ER, I'm sure.

2. I was kicked off of The Alamo ("for life" they said...).

3. I sometimes watch movies on the iPod while I'm driving to work. No, I don't carpool. No, I'm not sitting in some form of public transportation. Yes, I know that if it isn't illegal it is still pretty unsafe. No, I'm probably not going to stop. No, you shouldn't do it, too.

4. I like watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 movies (refer to above info).

5. When people lose their tempers in public I kind of want to laugh out loud so they can hear. But I don't really like getting beat up.

6. I lost the spelling bee in 5th grade on the word "people". It was humiliating because I always thought I was pretty smart. The dang E-O combination threw me.

7. I was at a sleep-over with some kid in about 7th grade. At one point he pulled out two one-gallon jugs of water and started doing curls. He told me not to ever tell anyone because he was embarrassed. I never did. I'm not going to tell you his name (to keep my promise) but it does feel pretty good to unburden myself after all of these years. Here's a hint: His initials are D.H. and he has authored a number of books that sell on

8. I think our family has held Family Home Evening over 400 times. I can't recall a Monday that we've missed. Last Monday, after the lesson, we played Mario Cart Double Dash for the activity. It doesn't really matter who won. What was interesting was that I've never seen anyone lose as bad as Janese.

9. I woke up in the middle of surgery on my finger (for the complete story, ask Darren). My eyes opened and I saw one of the surgeons' eyebrows raise quickly and then he said, "Uh-oh." I heard some beeping above my head from a machine. The beeping picked up a little. I fell back to sleep. I think I don't really ever want to hear a surgeon say "Uh-oh" when they are cutting my body.

10. I'm pretty sure most dogs feel like biting me. They must sense/smell fear. I can't remember not feeling that way. We even owned a dog named Bailey a few years ago. Everyday when I went out back to train her I would picture what would happened if I turned my back while she was fetching the ball. I pictured her surprising me by wrapping her teeth around the soft fleshy part of the back of my neck in a death grip. I've never actually been mauled or anything, but I'm sure I inherited this fear from my dad. When I was little and we were in Utah for vacation, dad was chased home by a ferocious canine while jogging when we visited Logan. We saw the dog a little later that day. It weighed about 7 pounds. I think the next time my dad went jogging he took a big, thick belt with him for defense. Just thinking about my dad jogging in broad daylight in Logan with a hefty leather belt and a watchful eye makes my laugh. I'm laughing right now. Oops, now I'm not. The dog next door is barking. I think it picked up my scent. Dang. I knew this would happen.

If you made it this far, leave a comment. C'mon, it's a celebration.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sneak Peek of My "Little" Brother...

My baby brother David and his family came to town for a few hours this afternoon. Click here to see his family's photo shoot!

He is so tall I had a hard time cropping the pictures to keep everyone in the scene...

Monday, November 5, 2007

A long line of Thespians....

Yes, our sons come from a long line of thespians. Well, actually, I was Hanzel in "Hanzel and Gretyl" in second grade. Mary Ann Clark was Gretyl. My only line was to stand there. And that isn't really, technically, a "line". Janese says she was in a play or two in grade school but can't remember what they were. Still counts. So, when Landon and Parker cheerfully volunteered to be in our ward's version of "Annie" Janese and I felt a deep sense of satisfaction.

That's one version of the story.

Actually, Janese signed the boys up without their permission. I was scared to death playing Hanzel and was never in a production again. Janese still can't recall the play she was in.

But we did feel satisfied watching them in the play. They did great. The entire cast did. They memorized their lines and songs and our boys really did have a great time doing it.

Here's the proof:

The boys getting into character (they are orphans in the play....neither one liked wearing make-up):

The boys doing "relaxation exercises" is an actor thing (I think):

The entire cast in all their glory:

I forgot to add this: I was a juggling lion in a class circus once. I juggled two bean-bags if I remember correctly.

And that was in front of thousands of cheering, screaming fans...

Sunday, November 4, 2007

What time is it?

I set my clock "back" last night. I set my alarm at the "normal" time, which is technically an hour after I normally set it. I woke to my alarm, figured I was awake an hour earlier than normal and went back to sleep. I was now an hour early. Or late. I don't know. So I woke up 15 minutes before I needed to be a bishopric meeting. Or maybe I was 45 minutes late. Or early. I still can't tell. Everyone was already at the meeting that I was to conduct, so I must have been late. Or they had forgot to change their clocks.

I seemed to have an extra hour in between interviews and church. Daylight Saving explained it. I think.

I got home from church a little early. Maddie went down for her nap an hour late. I don't know how to explain that since I think we've set our clocks back an hour. But we forgot to set the clocks in the front of the house back, so we were an hour later for everything. But not really because we had been living according to the bedroom clock. Which I had ignored for an hour.

Janese keeps claiming that we need to get the kids in bed an hour early because of the time change, but that would be the normal time, a week ago.

So, I don't know what time it is right now. I don't know when the kids are supposed to go to bed. And if I call my parents (in CA) or brother (in TX) to ask, I'm an hour off one direction or the other anyhow.

On another note, my free iPod nano arrived. Pretty sweet. Thanks, KeyBank. In the interest of full-disclosure, yes, I opened the account just for the nano. I'm closing it this week.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

New Senior Session

Check out the "sneak peak" of M* here.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Halloween 2007

The children have been dressing up for Halloween since March. Their efforts finally paid off. They scored so much candy that I felt absolutely no guilt when I took some. Well...I might have taken more than some. I'm not even sure they noticed.

But, after about an hour, I noticed. I noticed it mostly right around the intestinal area....

Happy Halloween!