Rule #1...

I suppose this is why I never say, "Smile!" before snapping a picture. Especially with Maddie. I thought other photographers were kidding when they say that they never ask their subjects to "smile" at any point, but now I get it.

No more, "smile..."-ing.

But it is kinda cute.

Now on to other business.

There have been a few comments on the last post with people telling me that stuff like that happens to everyone. That's nice to say. But it sure seems like it happens to me more than most. Case in point:

When Janese and I were dating, we jumped into J's car to go and visit her sister. On the way, we had to stop into the apartment office so that I could pay my rent. I jumped out of the car and ran in to the office. Rent paid, I ran back out. Feeling all "in love" and stuff, I decided to bound down the long steps as opposed to step down the long steps (the steps were about 3 feet deep each).

My foot landed half on and half off of the second to last step and I bucked, crumbled, and rolled the rest of the way, becoming wedged between the curb and the front tire of J's car. Janese didn't rush out of the car all concerned like a girlfriend is supposed to. She just sat in the car and laughed.

That was about fifteen years ago, and stuff like that has been happening ever since. So, please...don't patronize me...

Apparently, I'm Dainty...

I just had one of those moments that, every time I think about it, I get shivers of embarrassment. Dang-it! Here's what happened:

There's this guy who is an assistant coach on Landon's baseball team. So we're both assistant coaches. Great. The guy, we'll call him Steve, is about as intimidating looking as you can be. His head is shaved, he has a tatoo, his goatee is four inches long, his ears are pierced. Steve really, really looks like he should be driving a huge Harley to every game (maybe he has one, I don't know...).

But the thing is- he's as nice a guy as you'd want coaching your son. He is very positive with the kids, he doesn't show any favoritism, and he takes a lot of time to teach the basics of baseball. Very likable guy. But he looks really, really, really tough. He doesn't just look tough; I'm sure he is tough. But nice, too.

So, after the game (which we won, by the way...) my family is walking to our vehicles, and Steve is walking with us. All of the sudden he puts his hand up, like he is either going to slap my five, or shake my hand. But, it isn't going to be a normal handshake. It is going to be one of those handshakes you do if you are naturally tough. The guys in the picture belowe are doing it (I think). Maybe they're arm-wrestling, but this is the basic idea:



Typically, this handshake is used by people playing sports, or people in gangs, or people who are confidant. The handshake is sometimes followed up by bumping knuckles. I'm sure this is what Steve was doing, because he is the type of person who should do it. And I've always thought I was, too. Until now.

I think the handshake caught my off guard. So, rather than smack my hand up against his and do that one-squeeze-and-one-shake-let-go-then-bump-knuckles thing, I barely got my hand into position. In fact, I really didn't get my hand into position. So instead of having an equally balanced, man-handshake, I placed my small, soft, dainty hand in a lady-like position as if Steve was helping me out of my horse-drawn carriage so I wouldn't trip over my long, velvet dress. It looked a lot like this:



And this...



What made matters worse was that my wife saw, my children probably saw, and Steve looked at me like I expected him to bow, say, "m'Lady" and kiss my pasty-white, smallish, un-caloused hand. I couldn't fix it. I tried. The handshake was over.

Luckliy he didn't say anything, but man do I wonder what he was thinking. Or is thinking. Every time I picture my little hand in the upright, lady-like, please-help-my-so-I-don't-stumble-out-of-my-carriage-and-tear-my-corset position I want to puke.

How can I go to practice tomorrow?

Baseball, pt. II...

These days, we skip taking the typical sports pictures. I kinda miss them, but I enjoy taking our own. Better prices...



I used a new lens to catch this one of Landon during our quick baseball picture session in our back yard. I love it. Plus, I've forgotten how much I enjoyed playing baseball as a kid. My parents came to every game. It was always hot (well, most of the time...Keating Park could get a little cold and windy on Saturday nights). I loved sunflower seeds and HubbaBubba chewing gum. My old mitt smelled like salt, dirt, and grass. My batting gloves were always worn in the same places. Coach Millward, Coach Bill, Coach Danny, Coach Perron (T-ball)...Good times.

Landon and Parker seem to enjoy it, and hopefully the girls will, too. Coaching has been enjoyable and I find myself yelling the same types of things my coaches yelled. Maybe all coaches yell the same things?:

"Nice and easy! You got this!"

"Right down the pipe!"

"Give it a ride!"

"Way to be patient!"

"Good eye!"

"Where's the play, guys?"

"Way to be alert!"

"What the...?! What kind of call was that?! You didn't see how low that pitch was?! Are you blind? That was a ball! Gimme a break! You're blind!!! I could see that was a ball from here, and I wasn't even watching!!! Seriously...."



Ahhhh...another relaxing summer of baseball....

Baseball...aka, "Parker, Pitcher"

There are probably 1000 things technically wrong with this picture...except for how great it is! This just catches Parker's "essence" which is the great thing about photography.

Parker played great tonight. He hit very, very well. He played catcher and pitcher. He had a great attitude. And all of this in the middle of February-like weather. The wind blew, the temps fell, the clouds rolled in and out all evening...But he smiled through all of it.

I got a number of great shots, but I just loved this one the best (so far)...

I Don't Know How to Explain This...

All I sad was, "Hey Hun, come outside real quick so I can practice taking some pictures with this particular lighting..." and what I got was, well, this...



There is probably a lesson in this about marriage...but I just don't know what it is...

Yards...

I mowed, and weed-shwacked, the lawn this morning. It bugs a little because we didn't take much care to plant "great" grass when we did it and now our lawn never looks that good. And, our lawn isn't too mower-friendly because I'm always having to mow around trees, plants, etc.

On the other hand, Janese has spent quite a bit of time planting things that she and her friend Jennifer pick up from...well...I'm not sure of all the places they've been in the past few years to get plants. So, the flower beds at both homes always look very nice. Plus, Janese weeds like crazy. I'm not sure if she likes it or not, but she does it a lot. I enjoy weeding the vegatable garden beds because I get to think about testimonies and repentance and other stuff like that. The boys and I were out weeding this morning (after mowing) and we got to talking about how weeds were like sins and the earlier we get those out of the garden the easier it is for the good "stuff" to grow. It was nice to have a little teaching moment.

Then the boys ran off and I picked weeds all by myself. There's probably a lesson in that, too.

Anyhow, tonight Janese and I were waling through the yard and I got a couple shot of some parts of the yard we enjoy. One is of the Sunburst Honeylocust in the front, and the other is of some daisies Janese planted in the back some years ago...





You know, I just noticed that Blogger doesn't quite get the colors correct. I just looked at the daisies in "preview" on my moniter and compared it to what is on the screen on Blogger. Much more saturated in "preview"...lame. Lame!

Bike Ride (aka, I've gained 6 lbs.)

A few weeks ago I went in to see the doctor (I can't recall what it was all about...oh wait, a huge breakout of hives). I stepped on the scale and was surprised to see that I'd gained 6 lbs. since my last visit. Probably no big deal, except that all of my pants fit quite snugly, with no belt. I feel like the Koolaid Guy who used to bust through the fence during birthday parties and everyone would yell, "Hey Koolaid!". Only it isn't meant as a compliment when people yell it at me.



This morning Janese invited me to go on a bike ride with her and Maddie. Nice hint, honey... I never go on bike rides. Until now.

I took some pics of Janese because she doesn't look like the Koolaid Guy (or girl...whatever).

How to Take Down a Giant...

There was no Photoshopping at all (well, a little sharpening...). This is just a great shot. It is all about perspective I suppose, but this looks like a kid taking down a giant with one arrow...

Nice shot...

Maddie's New A-line Cut...

Janese got a shot of Maddie's new cut right after it happened. I tried to be all professional about it and get a great shot...but Mads protested. This is all we have to show for it...





Trust me, she has a new hair-cut. I'm sure at some point (probably during her nap) we'll get a good one of her...

Here is Janese trying, ever so kindly, to get Mads to straighten up...

Maddie's Friends...

We were taking pictures of some of Parker's friends during his birthday party and Maddie wanted in on the action. So she gathered up her two friends....



It is kinda cute and kinda sad. What kind of friends are these? They sit around all day, doing nothing unless you force them to get up and play around. They never come up with good ideas for play time. They don't come and find you when playing hide and seek. In fact, they never even find their own places to hide....

We need to get Mads some new friends...